Beer Club blog has fallen behind the times lately, like an old roller coaster ride, frightening; not because of the turns or speed, but because you never know which rivit might snap at the hands of a maniacal Carny. In the weeks between posts, we've been doin a whole lotta drinkin'. Here is a recap.
Beer Club
First rule of Beer Club.... something something im drunk
Monday, January 2, 2012
Week X: Playing Catchup
Beer Club blog has fallen behind the times lately, like an old roller coaster ride, frightening; not because of the turns or speed, but because you never know which rivit might snap at the hands of a maniacal Carny. In the weeks between posts, we've been doin a whole lotta drinkin'. Here is a recap.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Week 11? Exit 4
Tea. He decided to have tea this morning. He ate his usual breakfast, 2 egg whites and a slice of 12 grain toast. He took the dog for his normal 0.8 mile walk. He had Good Morning America on in the next room. The tea, at least, made this morning a little unusual. He couldn’t bear another morning of Columbian decaf with skim milk and Splenda. He just needed something different this morning.
He dreaded having to drive his wife’s car. He hadn’t thought the idea of his daughter driving to South Carolina on her own was a wise one. She promised she’d take her time, and stop when she was tired. But, Maine to South Carolina, by yourself, was quite a trip for someone who had just gotten her license. He wondered how far she got since last night.
He responded to a work-related email, something about ASSF. He was urging his client to purchase this penny stock but secretly all he was thinking is why they would choose such a symbol. He couldn’t type it without thinking something dirty. He hadn’t noticed how long the shouting had been coming from the living room. The television was loud with screams and crying. He assumed it was footage from a bombing somewhere he didn’t care about. Some third world country like Iraq, Afghanistan, or Scotland.
It still seemed far away, New York. He rushed to his window and was greeted by a warm sunny day and his neighbor’s dog shitting on his lawn. He ran upstairs for his cell phone, which was still charging from the night before. The phone rang just as he made it to the top. It was her. “Lynn?” he quickly asked. She was crying. She was hysterical. She couldn’t put together a sentence. All he wanted to know was if she was okay. He asked a third time. She finally answered, “I think so. I’m in my car.” After gaining a little of her senses she continued, “I stopped early last night. I was exhausted. I just started this morning and something happened. It started raining black and my car stalled. It won’t start now and it feels like my tire is flat. I can’t move.” He asked if she called 911. She told him she couldn’t get through. He wondered if that was even possible. “Dad, people are hurt….people from other cars…they got out when their cars stopped and...dad, people are hurt. I don’t know what to do.”
Inside he was frantic but hid it from his only child. He asked where she was. He had to get to her. “I’m on the New Jersey turnpike. I can see an exit sign but it’s covered in black…it’s…it’s 4. I’m at exit 4.” He told her to stay in her car and keep calling the police. “Daddy. My battery is at 10%. What if you need to call me?” He told her he was on his way to get her. He didn’t know how. All he knew is that he already missed the normalcy of Columbian decaf with skim milk and Splenda.
This week’s beer is Exit 4 by New Jersey’s Flying Fish Beer Company. I liked it.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Week 9: Stone Double Bastard 10.5% ABV
Hans Gruber and Col. Stewart. Gannon and Bowser. Hell, even those guys up there. All great examples of bastards. But all of those don't compare to this 10.5% malt and hop bomb from Stone. At the same time, this is the ultimate yin and yang beer, with a delicate balance of hops that wallop your taste buds and a sweet maltiness that cools it down. Your mouth doesn't stay cooler than a witch's tit in December for long, because the alcohol burn sets in pretty quick.
About half way through the bottle, I began to think that the double bastards of Jim Carey and Tommy Lee Jones made for a good evil pair in Batman Forever. And man, if you start thinking that movie was any good, you know the beer is hitting you hard.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Week 8: Life and Limb 10% ABV
Phone: "Ring Ring Rreeeeeiing"
Week 7: Russian River Redemption 5% ABV
Monday, November 14, 2011
Week 6: Gritty's Best Bitter 5.00% ABV
Week 5: Long Trail Triple Bag 9.20%ABV
The Urban Dictionary defines Triple Bag as "before engaging in sex with a butt ugly chick, you place one paper bag over her head, one over your head in case the first one breaks and one over your dog so that he still respects you in the morning." The same can be said for anyone lucky enough to pound a couple of these beers, because you'll surely regret it the next morning. Moooo!